Looking forward

I don't feel good so I'm watching Harry Potter and eating cosmic brownies to cheer myself up. I'm down about how hard it is to connect to people sometimes-it seems like everyone is so busy, or that people come in and out of my life without much staying power. It seems easier to retreat to world of books and music and movies and acquiring things and my own self promotion. But what is easiest is not always what is best and healthiest. And as I've gotten to know myself better I've realized that some people just don't need as much togetherness to feel close and connected as I do, and that I shouldn't be angry with them or think they don't care about me. That is what has happened in the past, and I'm tired of the same old song and dance.

On a lighter note, I'm excited about a creative endeavor I'm trying out this Tuesday. If anything good comes of it I'll post about it.I also enjoyed browsing around the mall today-I almost bought some glittery shoes at Forever 21 and thought better of it.

The older I get the more I realize that in some ways I'm still very much like the kid I used to be. I still love reading and biking and cats and trees, dress up, singing and weird little crafts (I used to make hair bows and Sculpey jewelry). I'm still kind of shy and too sensitive and I love swingsets and bubble baths. But it's also nice to know that I've changed for the better in many ways. I feel better about myself the older I get, and more hopeful about the future. I've even stopped worrying so much about being single. I'd rather be single than with someone who doesn't "get" me or who I don't really respect or enjoy. I moved from my hometown at 16 and was terrified, but now I'm happy we moved. I went to a college where I didn't feel I fit in, but I learned a lot about myself and other people (I learned the hard way about a lot of things) and made some meaningful friendships. I find myself at 27 still yet to have a "career" or significant other, but I'm getting closer and closer to being the person I want to be and I find that I'm less anxious and cynical at 27 than I was at 17. I like to think that my best years are ahead of me.

And on a totally different note-here are some things that I've enjoyed looking at recently:

Colorado Bend State Park- I want to go!


kayaking on Town Lake-good memories


I think these shoes are fantastic!


I heard the song "Our House" a long time ago and just recently learned that Graham Nash wrote it for Joni Mitchell when they lived in Laurel Canyon. I really like this book...